What Jessie Did Next...

...being the inane ramblings of a mundane Yorkshire bird.

Author: Jess (page 9 of 26)

Good news everybody! A veteran Trek writer is doing the adaptation of the forthcoming Trek prequel:

One of the last pieces of the multimedia rollout for the new Star Trek movie has finally been revealed. Today Pocket Books confirmed with TrekMovie that veteran sci-fi novelist Alan Dean Foster is writing the adaptation for the new Trek feature.

The only author I think I’d prefer to do the adaptation would be Vonda N McIntyre, who wove so many subplots and little characters into the II/III/IV movie novel adaptations.

(Found via trekmovie.com).

Edit: Hitch has reminded me that he wrote some stinkers too. This could go either way.

There used to be manned ticket barriers at Leeds railway station – manned by real people who would check your tickets and stuff. You’d usually get two people there at least, reasonably efficient. That all changed a few months ago when the barriers got pulled up, the staff moved elsewhere, and the powers-that-be put in automated ticket barriers.

Since then it’s been a total fail:

  • The barriers take several seconds to open! Although I’m used to London Underground barriers (ticket in/run through/grab ticket/close behind you) the time taken to get through the Leeds barriers is excessive and causes extreme congestion in rush hour.
  • The ticket readers are unreliable – standing there for half a minute attempting to get the thing to read your Metro-card looks to be quite common.
  • There’s usually at least two barriers wide open, attended by agency staff who don’t look at the tickets anyway.
  • There’s usually at least two barriers out of action (broken?) with cones or something across them.

However, there’s an even bigger failure you can have fun with: you can use almost any mag-stripe ticket in them. One morning I was in a hurry and pulled out an expired Metro-card, which quite happily let me through the barrier; subsequently I tried a London Underground ticket from 2007, a National Rail ticket from 2005 and even a ticket from somewhere foreign (Trans-Perth rail probably). I’ve also had confirmation that credit card receipts from the ticket machines work as well.

(NB. I should point out at this juncture that I did have a valid Metro-card during the period of testing, at no point did I attempt to dodge fares).

It does bring an interesting question to mind though – why did they install these? It’s easier to fare-dodge using the new barriers (if not via the expired-ticket method then you can just stroll through since the attendants don’t check tickets anyway); it doesn’t increase efficiency but instead increases congestion as commuters attempt to get through the barriers; there’s no decrease in staffing either.

It all just seems a waste of time, and it’s bloody frustrating for us commuters.

Mine and Nicky’s photo gallery surpassed 50,000 photos online yesterday. Woo.

Gooroo (one of my current clients) have set up a blog for their software-as-a-service thingy. If you’re interested in SaaS and cloud computing it’s one to pop in your RSS feed (although it will probably be a bit buzzword-tastic at times).

Link here. I’m sure they’d appreciate comments and discussion!

Ben forwarded me this article, which explains how much damn pain us IT nerds/geeks go through (and probably why we drink so much).

My favourite quote: “See, you’re never going to get them to stop sticking the fork in their eyes. Never. Stop trying, it’s fantasy. Along those lines, they’re never going to treat you like more than a glorified janicopter, where your only useful function is to STFU and bail them out of that jail they worked so hard to get themselves into.”

I can probably apply this analogy to supporting end-users on web apps right this very second, and in fact most of the customer-facing jobs I’ve been in; they’ll never stop sticking the fork in their eyes, so give up trying to stop them…

I’m dealing with a mess of a user interface design today, so here’s two links which I came across from Smashing Magazine:

I will not pretend I think they are all correct but they are good ideas and good guidelines in some cases. In fact, any “design agency” who might want to get involved in UI design should read them – because sending me a PSD which could have been done better by a monkey using Photoshop and flinging shit at a keyboard is not the answer.

Podcasts are ace. I only discovered them just before I went to Australia when I upgraded my iPod, but they keep me company while travelling and introduce me to new music. Here then are some good podcasts I enjoy:

The BBC make available a pile of podcasts (although I do wish they’d podcast “Just A Minute”). I listen to:

  • Tom Robinson Presents, full-length tracks from unsigned bands. Yeah OK there’s some crap, but by and large it’s listenable to and introduces me to some artists I’d never have found otherwise.
  • The Radio 4 Friday Night Comedy podcast. News Quiz and The Now Show. Excellent.
  • CBeebies: The Best Bits gets accumulated over weeks to provide a soundtrack to an otherwise dull car journey (supplemented with recordings of the CBeebies Hour on R7).
  • Excess Baggage and The Media Show can alleviate a boring journey as well.

“Enough of this BBC stuff! Give us the independents!” I hear you cry. Oh alright then:

I do tend to prefer the musical ones – of which there are a shortage I think due to licensing issues, especially the BBC ones which show promise; I mean, I’d love to have a full version of Paul Jones’ Blues Explosion or Stuart Maconie’s Freak Zone but you only get about a minute or so of each song.

Anyone got any favourite podcasts they like, other than the BBC ones?

I just tried tiltshiftmaker.com, which alters your photos so they look like they’ve been done in a tilt-shift style (and consequently your photos look like they’re models).

My attempt using a photo I had to hand:

I think a little experimentation will show the best photos to do it with – I may take a few this weekend purely with this tool in mind.

Santa brought me a Gaggia coffee machine. Consequently I spent Christmas Day not in an alcoholic fug, but in a caffeine-fuelled frenzy. Excellent.

In a “you take photos don’t you?” moment a few weeks back, we got asked to do “official” photography for Ellie and Ben’s school across the road. The plan was for one of us to take photos of youngsters talking to Santa in his grotto, and then they got a photo each for Mum and Dad.

There’s a few problems with this though, headed by the fact I’d never done a shoot with a flashgun. Handily, I was already booked to take the 30D to Calumet on Friday morning for a clean so was able to pick their brains; I also walked out with a grip for the 30D since I’ll probably not be able to lay my hands on a 5D Mk2 until April 2009 (but that’s another story).

Next issue – the lab is a mile away. We could upload the pics but the connectivity in the school can’t be relied on and the restrictions are draconian including per-user upload/download quota which would be flattened by the 10th photo uploaded – reluctantly I fiddled with my 3G card and managed to get an upstream of about 30kbytes/s from the school making it roughly 2 minutes to get a photo to the lab. Phew. (Please note at this stage that if I was doing this more often, I’d probably invest in one of those portable pro-dye-sub printers).

I didn’t want to have to mess around with memory cards either so investigated hooking the camera up to the laptop. I’d not really used Canon’s software before but it was fun to see I could change settings on the camera remotely, trigger it to fire, all sorts of guff – which then got plonked into Canon’s own Imagebrowser software and given a filename of the child’s name and ticket. That plus a combination of a few hacked-up shell scripts meant I could largely automate the whole process from camera to lab, with time-from-shoot to it popping out the lab being around 5-10 minutes – God bless rsync.

So to summarise:

  1. Canon 30D takes photo, goes direct to computer via USB.
  2. Pick out a nice photo of the 4-5 I’ve taken and rename it with kid’s ticket and name.
  3. rsync chucks file to remote server over Vodafone 3G.
  4. Lab picks file up off remote server via rsync.
  5. Photo comes out of lab.
  6. Someone drives it to the school.

All within about 10 minutes (if you’re lucky and at the end of a batch anyway).

Nicky did the driving – wazzing to and fro from the lab and bringing prints, and apparently the kids helped. The only hitch was when I realised my camera’s USB cable didn’t stretch from laptop to grotto, but that was resolved with a couple of long USBA-B cables and a USB hub in the middle, which I only stepped on, er, twice. The biggest disaster to happen would probably have been if the 3G fell back to GPRS, but I found a reasonable point in the vestibule next to the grotto where I could blu-tak the 3G dongle to the wall and get a good signal.

All in all a good effort and largely a success.

UK VAT Rate changes from next Monday 1st December. That gives everyone precisely fuck all time to implement any changes on custom-written software.

It’s not often I post generic info here regarding me and consultancy time, but this is justified in my opinion: If any clients – past or present – are reading this who want me to come in and sort out the VAT rates on their systems (if I designed it it’ll be easy, if I didn’t then it’ll probably be a nightmare) please get in touch with me fast.

My time’s filling up at a rate of knots and if you want me to get in and even just take a look, you need to contact me now.

Here endeth the public service broadcast, brought to you live from a coffee shop in Manchester Airport arrivals lounge.

The full trailer for the new Star Trek movie hit the ‘Net last Monday. While I’m quite excited about watching the film, I’m of the opinion it will either be very good, or very very very very very very very bad. We know it busts canon (something the fanboys are up in arms about), we know that Kirk’s adventures on the USS Farragut never happened, we know that the Enterprise got a redesign, we know it got constructed in a gravity well, we know that it completely buggers up the whole timeline of Kirk and Pike and all that jazz. Hey kids, it’s a film, just sit back and relax.

Now I’ve said that, there’s a good deconstruction at IO9.com (via Film School Rejects). Nice touch with the number on the policeman’s visor… and crumbs, Uhura’s got a nice body.

(If you ask me [which you haven’t] I prefer the prequel events as portrayed in Vonda N McIntyre’s book Enterprise: The First Adventure – they fit a lot better and it was obviously well researched without the expense of the story. Mind, that was written some years ago and of course it’s not canon unless it’s been on telly or in the cinema…)

Insert “fat pipe” jokes here:

“A sperm = 37.5 MB of genetic information. Using basic math, we can compute the bandwidth of human male ejaculation as: (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec.”

(from FreeNode #programming).

Ladies and Gentlemen pray silence, for today is the 30th anniversary of the Star Wars Holiday Special – a piece of cruft that Lucas produced which makes even Jar Jar Binks look good.

There’s a decent LA Times article on it here, but I’m sure that there will be others in the usual places. Plus, you can always find the whole made-for-TV cringefest on YouTube if you really want to watch it (I lasted about 5 minutes before I had to switch it off).

From Topless Robot comes what is probably the best photo of all time. I have nothing to add to this, not even a smartarsed remark.

(Here’s the original gallery, in case pillow fights are your “thang”).

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