The BBC’s Have Your Say sections are usually full of opinionated tits spouting utter cack at each other, but today’s has been utter comedy and – in some cases – utter genius.

Michael Winston’s got a nice dog:

They say animals can sense a ‘quake coming – well, my dog Nipper woke me up with a cup of tea shortly beforehand, told me it was coming and not to worry. They say that they’re intelligent but he forgot that I don’t take sugar! Perhaps it was for the shock.

I felt quite sorry for Katy:

Why did this have to happen just as i was catching vomit from my daughter. It did make it a little more difficult.

Wasn’t long before the politics started to flood in:

We felt it. It was quite disturbing. I heard on the TV that the quake was caused by too many immigrants. They are making the UK lopsided.

If someone’s bored in Leicester maybe they can knock on this guy’s door:

I thought it was a ghost so i hid under the quilt, I’m still here now with my laptop and no food or drink, please help.

Back to the politics:

It’s just typical of new labour – we never had earthquakes under the tories. I blame their stupid namby-pamby politically correct attitudes. Just because other countries have earthquakes doesn’t mean WE have to have them.

At least Les in Kenny was prepared:

Me and the wife were fast asleep when the earthquake rudely awoke us. I thought an aeroplane was landing in our front garden. I couldn’t believe the intensity of the whole experience – we quickly evaccuated the family into our special quake bunker and awaited the all clear from the local seizemologist. The provisions I had stockpiled for such an event came in mighty handy.

This guy from Malvern seems to have a hell of a rodent problem:

My sister thought it was mice.

If you get bored, the Reader Recommended ones are still coming in… 😛

Edit: I’d forgotten about this, but there’s more pisstaking of ‘Have Your Say’ over at the spEak You’re bRanes website.